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<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>Greetings to All,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> I loved the "Real" Hartwood Meeting
Minutes. I am wondering if the last item ie. appointment of herald is entirely
made up or reflects a real, real event? I was at the meeting until it was
adjourned and I do not recall any discussion about the herald position which
since the position only became available at this meeting makes sense. We would
need time to post the position and ask any interested persons to present
applications and resumes at the next Council Meeting. I don't have any problem
with Dori being herald but this is the process that I was told by Executive
Members had to be followed.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> Soooo... could someone Who Knows
(Yoda? Obi Wan?) please get back to me on this?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>Thanks</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>Sara Hawthorne</FONT></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE
style="BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="FONT: 10pt arial; BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=redshasta@gmail.com href="mailto:redshasta@gmail.com">Julie
MacTíre</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=hartwood@tirrigh.org
href="mailto:hartwood@tirrigh.org">hartwood@tirrigh.org</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Sunday, July 24, 2011 4:33 PM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [Hartwood] The Real Hartwood
Meeting Minutes™</DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal>Hartwood Meeting, July 24, 2011<FONT class=Apple-style-span
size=6>*</FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:25 AM<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Introductions:<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>“Hello
everyone, I’m going to tell you who I am, even though you all know who I
am.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>I could be hiding something,
though, so I should just remind you who I am…”</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:27 CLAP DAMN YOU ALL, CLAP</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:28<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>First
threats of violence “I should beat you!”<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>(Unsure as to provocation.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Probably a pun.)</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:28<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran
demands officer’s reports… “Uh, you already have them.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Right there.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>In front of you.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Read them all right now!”<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran insists that people actually
give reports.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Muttering
ensues.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:29<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Halima
informs us that while we have money in the bank account, we cannot all go to
Vegas.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Muttering ensues.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:30<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Cecile
is planning many plans.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Website
changes, workshops over Skype… use of Google docs.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Consensus is that she is plotting to
take Hartwood over using A&S.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>She announces a subversive plot to ally with the Barony of Seagirt,
wasting the enmity that has been carefully built up over the years.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:32<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Marina
discusses heraldry.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Will not
entertain suggestions of Tierce silhouette for Hartwood badge.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Ignores pouting.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:34<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Elizabeth gives Zoran paperwork she claims is her report.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran reads.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>It’s really a ransom demand for
chocolate chip cookies in exchange for the top secret Shire password. <SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran pretends it’s a report.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:36<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran
admits communicating with the world beyond the Upper Island.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Suspicion grows that he is trying to
introduce new and strange ideas from the Principality Seneschal.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:37<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran
threatens us all with the Hartwood financial report.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Says that if we don’t behave, he’ll
force us all to read and report on it. </P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:38<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>William
complains that the Charter is not written in pig latin.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:39<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Scathach
demands that William reconfirm his loyalty to Tierce.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>William reaffirms his loyalty.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:40<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Halima
starts reading the charter. </P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:42<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Scathach
receives copy of charter.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>It
looks official.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Times New Roman
font and everything.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:46<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Halima
mentions that the Charter does not allow officers to use their position as
officer to win non-related arguments, so “Well, <I
style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">I’m</I> the Chatelaine for Hartwood, so
you can too wear Elizabethan garb with a Norse persona!” is out.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Several people look disappointed.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:47<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>William
calls attention to some glaring and shameful grammatical errors.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>A violent argument erupts over colons
versus semicolons.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Friendships
are sundered, the integrity of the Shire is threatened and Zoran has to
threaten the entire group with remedial financial policy study to get the
meeting settled down.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:51<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran
recognizes that we can’t toss someone out on their ass if they disappear while
in a Hartwood officer’s position.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Charter will be rewritten to read “After three (3) consecutive
absences, the Seneschal will send a note home to the officer’s parents.”</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:55<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Motion
made to rewrite the Charter in Pirate.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Carried, provided that a letter of marque can be produced and the
language used is pre-1650 Pirate.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:56<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>The
Shire Financial policy is read.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Not only can we not use the funds to go to Vegas, we can’t even use
them to throw a keg party.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Muttering ensues.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:58<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>The
Financial Committee is also not allowed to use Shire funds to take vacations,
gamble or throw mundane parties.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Several people visibly rethink volunteering.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>10:59<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>The most
recent copy of the Financial Policy tried to make a break for it, but was
recaptured and forced to return to Halima.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:00<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Halima
announces that money will not be given out for vague purposes.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>“Because I need it for SCA stuff” is
not an acceptable application for Shire funds.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:01<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Apparently we have to follow Kingdom and mundane law.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>The crumbling of castles in the air is
almost audible.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:03<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Reimbursements will not be made for receipts dated in the ‘90s.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:04<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>“I
forgot” is not an excuse for <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">not</I>
depositing cheques within the lifespan of the average guppy.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:08<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran
asks for a show of hands.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Discussion arises about which hand should be raised.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Right vs. left is debated.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:09<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Armada…
Kjarten announces that this event will probably bring $800 with $200 of
expenses.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Since none of this will
be going to provide the populace with showgirls, minimal interest is shown and
the motion to provide expenses passes.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:10<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN><S>Raven’s War</S> Straight ‘N Arrow budget is discussed.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>There is no marshmallow expenditure
for this year; people are going to have to bring their own.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Conflict arises over the “William
Tell” competition, with some people arguing for the period nature of the
event; others arguing modern child welfare laws.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:13 $5 approved for a <S>Starbucks latte</S> Frappe for
the autocrat of <S>Raven’s War</S> Straight ‘N Arrow.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:14 Zoran demands Seneschal secret diaries that reveal
the dark life of the SCA ruling elite.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:17 Aleyn brings in Tim Horton’s coffee.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Predatory looks are directed towards
the cup holder.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Aleyn takes a
seat near the door in case he has to escape to protect his beverage.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:19<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Render
unto my Seneschals those reports that are my Seneschals’</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:20<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Marina
suggests that we all work together to produce a single Hartwood event.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Shocked silence. </P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:22<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>The
Hartwood Birthday Bash VS Port Alberni Fall Fair VS Canada Day.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Who will win in a knock-down-drag-out
fight?<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Opinion is divided.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:29<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>William
proposes an unholy alliance between Seagirt and Hartwood to produce an event
of unimaginable, awesome power.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:31<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Elizabeth wants to take Coronet by storm.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Suggests that we all camp together
without stabbing each other.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Opinion is divided.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:33 <SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran
asks for any other business and date for next meeting. <SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>October 2<SUP>nd</SUP> is decided on as
not conflicting with events/Thanksgiving/ballet recitals</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:34<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran
asks if anyone wants to be Chatelaine.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>No answer.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:34<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran
says that Marina is running for Seneschal.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:34<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Zoran
asks if anyone ELSE wants to be Seneschal.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Discriminatorily ignores Tierce’s bid
for the position.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:35<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Marina
tells the tale of her history in the SCA.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Aleyn is blamed.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:39<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Discussion on the usefulness of slave labour in SCA positions.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:41<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>A
possible <S>victim</S> volunteer has emerged for the Chatelaine position.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>The predatory gazes on Aleyn’s coffee
switch direction.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:42<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>She
turns out to be a former Lionsgate and Kingdom Chatelaine. She also has a
Shetland Sheepdog. She does agility!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Her ascension to the position is assured.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:44 <SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Marina
is Seneschal.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Yay!</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:45<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>A speech
is given to Edward of York, honouring his intestinal fortitude.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:50<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</SPAN>Adjournment.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>11:59<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Dori’s
application for Shire Herald is remembered.<SPAN
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>People vote her in without bothering
to read her application.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Halima
insists on reading it.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>People
vote Dori into the position of Herald all legal-like. </P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT class=Apple-style-span size=6>*</FONT><FONT
class=Apple-style-span size=1>This document does not represent the real
Hartwood minutes. Seriously, if anyone complains that this could be
mistaken for the real Hartwood minutes, for the sake of the Society, take them
to a psychiatrist. This document in no way delineates SCA
policy because if it did, I would have added something about Tierce ruling
everything and the Shire of Hartwood funds being used to purchase a giant
chocolate fountain/ice cream maker combination for events.</FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT><BR></P>
<P>
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